What to Do When You’re Unsure of What Your Partner Likes Sexually

Having a new sexual partner is one of the best feelings in the world. Everything is new and exciting, you want to have sex all the time, and you go off at a single touch. But once that new excitement cools down, you end up finding each other’s buttons and things keep a steady simmer going. But what happens when you keep pressing the wrong buttons? Hell, you might not even know where their buttons are. People are not as simple as movies make them seem. They have different fetishes and fantasies; nothing feels the same to two people. If you can’t seem to figure out what it is that you’re doing wrong, we’re here to help. You don’t have to spend all of your intimate time together blundering around in the dark hoping that suddenly you’ll create a spark. To figure out what it is that sets them off, keep reading.

Experiment

It’s not the sexiest thing to suddenly ask them what they like in bed. It’s awkward and can sort of take the romance out of things. Instead of being so blunt, you may feel more comfortable just trying new things out. The important part of exploring their body and trying different moves with them is to watch their reactions while it’s happening. While it can definitely be hard to focus when you yourself are all worked up, it beats asking afterwards. The old saying goes that, “if you have to ask, it wasn’t good”. Don’t be a bother and ask if they like that every few minutes. Keep an eye out for facial cues and body tensing. These classically mean that yes, you should keep doing that. For men and women alike, once you’ve got it, just keep going. Switching things up as it’s getting good can definitely kill an orgasm.

Sneak

This is mostly when you’re trying to find out what a man likes, and it’s not the most honest. You may end up feeling hurt by comparing yourself to ideals that you’ll never reach, but that’s because they’re porn stars. That’s right, you can always look at his porn history. You’ll get every sexual secret out of him but you may not be able to do all of them for him. This will just give you an idea of what you should try next time.

Ask

The absolute best approach is to just ask. Again, it’s not the sexiest thing at the time, but in the long run you avoid all of those awkward nights and dodge the chance at a failed relationship. If you’re not sexually compatible then there’s no chance you’ll stay together. Take the initiative and practice the things that they like. You can even make it sexy by having a student/teacher night in. You get to be the eager student and they get to lie back and direct you on everything that feels good to them. In no time you’ll be acing the course. But aside from the classroom analogies, you really will feel like you know your partner more intimately and you’ll have a much higher chance at keeping your relationship alive.

It can be really tough not knowing what your partner wants. You may feel like a failure or like you used to know them better, but just keep an open mind to their suggestions. That way you won’t get offended and sex will be better for both of you.